It is worth asking what we want to achieve by practicing our faith. Why do we come to church, pray, fast, give to the needy, forgive our enemies, confess our sins, and otherwise struggle to reorient our lives toward God? Perhaps we do these things because we want to put God in our debt so that He will do our will. Maybe we want to become socially respectable, making ourselves look virtuous in our own eyes and in those of our neighbors. It could also be the case that we want to distinguish ourselves from our neighbors, especially those we do not like, presenting ourselves as more pious and moral than we think they are. Of course, these are all distortions of true Christian faith, but the real test of our faith is not simply in what we generally want from religion, but especially in how we relate to the Lord when we face deep challenges that break our hearts and threaten to lead us into despair.