It’s not just my recurring dream—it’s actually a nightmare, really—but it has been found to be a common dream for most of [us] humans. You know the one I mean: I’m standing in a fancy party or I’m in a very, very fancy place, standing either there in my pajamas or I don’t have any pants on. In other words, I am not dressed for the occasion. How embarrassing! That’s why this is such a common dream for [us] humans. We really do fear being embarrassed. And why do you suppose that is? It’s just such a common malady among [us] humans that they even have a scientific name for it. It’s called social anxiety disorder. Of course, this is where the fear of being embarrassed makes it almost impossible for you to even function.

But why are we humans so susceptible to this fear? Well, I’m convinced part of it is based on the reality that we humans are created in God’s image, and he is Persons in communion. We were made to be in community. Innately, we know we are supposed to both interact, learn from, and teach each other. We were made for communion, and we fear not fitting in or finding our place. I’m also convinced this fear of embarrassment has to do with making ourselves vulnerable to another, either out of a fear of being hurt or a fear of being let down by somebody else. We humans fear what we most desperately desire—communion. We fear the very vulnerability that will set us free from those embarrassing traits that make us afraid of being vulnerable. And what’s more, we wrongly and pridefully assume we’re the only ones who have this fear.

So how do we overcome this fear-based barrier to becoming who we really are called to be? It all begins with embracing reality, but not just any reality: we must embrace the reality of the presence of God in the flesh and his gracious invitation to become like him so that we will never fear again because, the Scripture declares, “Perfect love casts out fear.”

Just look at our gospel lesson today in Matthew 22:2-14:

The Lord said this parable: “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a marriage-feast for his son and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the marriage-feast, but they would not come. Again he sent other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited: Behold, I have made ready my dinner. My oxen and my fat calves are killed, and everything is ready. Come to the marriage-feast.” But they made light of it and went off, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. The king was angry, and he sent his troops and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.

“Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy. Go, therefore, to the thoroughfares and invite to the marriage-feast as many as you find,’ and those servants went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good, so the wedding-hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding-garment, and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding-garment?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him out into outer darkness. There men will weep and gnash their teeth, for many are called, but few are chosen.’ ”

Our Lord tells this parable to show us the foolishness of ignoring his invitation to transformation so that we will be properly prepared for his eternal feast. Look at this phrase and join me in contemplating the power of these words: “The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy.” Our fear of embarrassment is used by the enemy of our soul to keep us enslaved to this lack of worthiness and this lack of preparation, and this fear has to be seen as the weapon it is if we are ever to learn to escape its power.

Next the parable finds the master of the feast inviting everybody he can to the feast, and then he discovers someone still not dressed for the occasion. Notice, the master of the feast calls him, “Friend.” Here again, we will never overcome the fear that keeps us enslaved to this lesser life without proper attention to our true calling. God does not reject us or hate us. He even calls those who foolishly choose to remain inattentive, “Friend,” but he also refuses to pretend the state of our hearts [doesn’t] matter. As the newly recognized St. Paisios said:

Struggle with all your power to gain paradise, and do not listen to those who say that everyone will be saved. This is a trap of Satan so that we won’t struggle.

If we are ever to overcome this weapon of fear of embarrassment, we are going to have to settle in our hearts two vital realities. First, God loves us and desires us to be with him. And second, we must struggle against the inertia of our delusions to press into that beautiful wedding-garment given to us at our baptism when we were baptized into Christ.

Today, are you afraid of being embarrassed? The answer isn’t to run and hide like Adam and Eve in the garden. The answer is to face the wonderful provisions God has given you in his Church to dress you properly for his eternal wedding-feast. All you need to adorn your spiritual life with the beautiful wedding-garment of love is found in the ascesis, the spiritual struggle, of a purposeful Orthodox life.

Today, actively engage your spiritual life with joy and the reality that God will fill up every place where you are deficient, if only you will push past your fear of being vulnerable and embrace his love.