Looking for a sure way to bring an end to any conversation? Begin talking about cardioelectromagnetic communication. Notice their eyes glaze over as you mention that in 1863, the first biomagnetic signal was demonstrated in a magnetocardiogram by Gerhard Baule and Richard McFee. Watch them fumble for their car keys as you describe the magnetic induction coils that we use to detect energy fields generated by the human heart. Ah, this is one way to get rid of those pesky invitations to parties, but what will catch their interest is when you tell them what all that stuff means, and it can be summed up in three words: Bless your heart.

We all know that Southern expression, and we all know that it means one of two things. When it is sincere, “Bless your heart” means “Hang in there. Do you need a hug? Can I bring you a casserole?” But when it is not sincere, “Bless your heart” means “What a moron. That is so tacky. I feel like I should care, but I just don’t.” The mouth says one thing, but the heart feels another.

This is a funny way to make a serious point, and as always our Lord Jesus makes it best. “My heavenly Father will not forgive you if each of you does not forgive others from your heart” (Gospel of Matthew, chapter 13, verse 35).

In her popular book, called, God, Where is the Wound?, Romanian nun Mother Siluana refers to that scientific data about cardioelectromagnetic communication and just how serious it is. She puts it this way. “People are influenced only by the influence of the heart, by thoughts that come out of the heart.” She goes on to say that scientists from cardiology institutes in the USA and Canada performed experiments that show that the energy of the brain covers a much smaller distance—five feet—compared to the energy of the heart—from 20 to 200 miles. Finally, Mother Siluana concludes with this: “We Orthodox Christians believe that these energies of our hearts cover the whole of creation and influence it toward good or evil, depending on whether they are good, which means they are united with God’s grace, or evil, which means they are united with demonic energies.”

So while “Bless your heart” may sometimes be a sweet expression from the mouth that hides the sarcasm of the heart, it is exactly the content of the heart about which we Christians care so much.

Do you remember why prepositions are so important to a proper understanding of Christ, of Christology, of why he came to us? Notice the difference between “Christ for you” and “Christ in you.” Notice the difference between “Christ has come to do something for us” and “Christ has come to do something in us.” One is external; one is internal. One pays a debt; one changes the debtor. One does the work on my behalf; one does the work on my behavior.

“Christ for me” can simply mean that Jesus defends me before God the Father so that the Father’s wrath because of our sins settles down. “Christ in me” means that light and darkness cannot coexist within me; truth and falsehood cannot coexist; regeneration and decadence cannot coexist.

Christ has come not to change you and [me] from sad to happy, or even a bad person to a good person, but from old to new, carnal to spiritual, sick to healed, spiritually dead to spiritually alive. What did St. Paul call the hope of glory? “Christ in you.”

Now, why does all that matter? Because the good mother tells us that people are influenced only by the energies of the heart, by thoughts that come out of the heart. The real energy between us, the energy that either helps or harms our connection, comes not chiefly from our words but from our inner disposition. That’s why the prepositions matter. Without Christ doing work within me, I will never know how to really love. All conversion is an inside job, and only God can do inside jobs. If we’re going to not just forgive each other but forgive each other from our hearts, that’s going to have to be a God thing. The call of Christ to forgive each other begins not first with each other but with the Holy Spirit, who is our strength to do what we cannot do ourselves.

Are you having trouble forgiving anyone of anything? Maybe it has to be put to prayer so that it can be put into practice. Listen to how the remarkable St. Silouan puts it:

The soul cannot know peace unless she prays for her enemies. An enemy is anyone with whom we are not at peace. The soul that has learned of God’s grace to pray feels love and compassion for every created thing, and in particular for humanity, for whom the Lord suffered on the cross, and his soul was heavy for every one of us. The Lord taught me to love my enemies. Without the grace of God, we cannot love our enemies.

He goes on:

I beseech you, put this to the test. When someone offends you or brings dishonor on your head or takes what is yours or persecutes the Church, pray to the Lord, saying, “O Lord, we are all thy creatures. Have pity on thy servants and turn their hearts to repentance.” Do this, and you will be aware of grace in your soul.

“Bless your heart”: it’s a lovely social lubricant. We often mean it. Sometimes we can get away with not really meaning it, at least from the heart, but can we get away with saying, “I forgive you” while harboring hatred or unforgiveness or spite or a thirst for revenge in the heart? Not if we’re going to bear the holy title of Christian.

Scientists may call it “cardioelectromagnetic communication”; we call it Christ-like love—but it’s an inside job, and only God can do inside jobs.