Today, on Forgiveness Sunday as we begin Lent, I would like to ask myself a question; and perhaps you too might wish to ask yourself the same question: Do I want to forgive? Do you want to forgive? Are each of us ready to forgive others and to forgive ourselves?

Children, what do you think? What do you do when you get angry with other people? What do you do when life doesn’t go the way you would like it to go? . . . Yes, sometimes, it’s OK to become angry, but you do have to figure out some way to get over your anger.

We are all different in our attitudes to other people and their sins. The sixth century monk, St. Dorotheus of Gaza wrote: “I heard of one person [who] when he came to one of his friends and found the room in [a mess] and even dirty, he would say to himself: “Blessed is this person, because having [put aside] his concerns for earthly cares, he has concentrated his mind [so] much toward heaven, that he doesn’t even have time to tidy up his room.” But when he came to another friend’s place and found his room tidy and neat, he would say to himself; “The soul of this person is as clean as his room, and the condition of the room speaks of his soul.” And he never judged that another [person] was negligent or proud, but [this person of whom St. Dorotheus writes ] through his kind [and loving] disposition, saw good in everyone and received benefits from everyone. May the good Lord grant us,” wrote St. Dorotheus, “the same kind [loving] disposition, so that we too may receive benefits from everyone and so that we never notice the failings of others.”

St. Dorotheus of Gaza and his friends, sound like attractive people to live with, don’t they? Children, I don’t know if that would work with your parents the next time they told you to tidy up your room. You could try it, “Oh, mum and dad! My prayer life and reading the Bible is taking so much time and is in such good shape I just don’t have the time to tidy up my room.”

Now, St. Dorotheus of Gaza had a very forgiving approach toward the behaviour of other people. He suggested; and I quote: “Do not wish for everything to be done according to your determination [according to your own plans], but wish that [everything] is [already] how it should be, and in this way, you will attain peace with everyone. And believe that everything that happens to us, even the most insignificant [thing], occurs through God’s Providence. Then you will be able to endure everything that comes upon you without any agitation [without being upset in any way]”

That is a challenging approach to how other people treat you—a challenging approach to life itself, but possible. Jennifer Worth, the author of Call the Midwife, writes in her autobiography, In the Midst of Life, about an elderly Viennese doctor whose entire family had been killed in World War Two. She expressed her surprise that he was not bitter; and he replied: “We have to forgive the unforgiveable. But that does not mean [we have to] forget. These things should be remembered. But if we do not forgive, we will poison our lives, and the lives of others, and evil will win” (p. 217). As a nurse and a Christian, Jennifer Worth rightly thought that the doctor’s “philosophy of forgiveness” was both wise and kind. As Christians, we can learn to practice forgiveness to other people. The gospel reading for today from the sixth chapter of the Gospel of St. Matthew states that if we forgive others, then “your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

                     

A second kind of forgiveness is to forgive ourselves. Personally, I find that more difficult than forgiving other people. I would really like to live a life without sin; and all my friends knew what a good person I was. However, the reality is that I am human. I make mistakes. I need to accept that I am often harder in my judgment of myself than in my judgment of others. In order to forgive myself, I have to pray for the Lord’s guidance. Also, whatever task I tackle, it is well to remember, as Father Michael Keiser writes in Spread the Word: Reclaiming the Apostolic Tradition of Evangelism, “Care enough about what you do to learn to do it well, and then do it well” (p. 198). Father Michael’s challenge to do a task well applies to forgiveness, just as much as to evangelism. We can each trust the Lord to help us and guide us into learning how to forgive ourselves and how to forgive others. God is merciful, both to us and to those we seek to forgive.

I conclude with a brief comment on today’s epistle from the thirteenth chapter of the book of Romans which tells us that: “Salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed.” I find that very encouraging: Salvation is closer to me and to you now than when we first believed. That passage is often interpreted to mean that as time passes we draw closer to the Second Coming of Christ. However, the fourth century Antiochian, Bishop Diodore of Tarsus, tells us, and I quote: “When we [first] believed in Christ we did not immediately acquire an exact understanding of what we should be doing, nor was it clear to us what we should stop doing and what we should continue doing.” That sums up the personal decisions that we each make during Lent: What should I be doing? What should I stop doing? What should I continue doing? I offer you no advice. Whether we are children or adults, we can learn to answer those questions for ourselves. Whatever we choose to be doing, to stop doing or to continue doing, we can forgive; and forgiveness changes everything.  As Psalm 18 (19) says, it is difficult for us to discern our errors, but we can each ask for grace and pray: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Amen.

Father Deacon Emmanuel Kahn